I was pulling weeds the other day. I noticed that with each weed, I dug deeper. I moved rocks, sometimes had to use both hands and pull with all my might but with each tug and shift, it lifted. After a few days, my hands were tired and dirt lie beneath my nail beds and I took notice of the aftermath of the work. There were no more weeds, just the root of what had been removed. While the process was taxing, I did it again and again each day until the space was not overtaken by weeds. I believe in this same process with our Savior, though wearing and joyous, our master comes to know us again and again and again. Taking notice of our failures, and rejoicing in our triumph. May we never cease to take notice of the One who seeks to know our roots and to dig into the very depths of them.
I’ve tasted and seen of the sweetest of loves
Where my heart becomes free and my shame is undone
Your presence, Lord
Holy Spirit, You are welcome here
Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere
Your glory, God, is what our hearts long for
To be overcome by Your presence, Lord
Let us become more aware of Your presence
Let us experience the glory of Your goodness
There’s nothing worth more that will ever come close
No thing can compare, You’re our living hope
Your presence, Lord
Lately we’ve been trying to state the importance of living with a grateful heart. I tell Sydney often when she starts to complain about something but I am in turn telling myself. I am grateful for what is in front of me in these moments, today, right now.
“…believe that this way of living, this focus on the present, the daily, the tangible, this intense concentration not on the news headlines but on the flowers growing in your own garden, the children growing in your own home, this way of living has the potential to open up the heavens, to yield a glittering handful of diamonds where a second ago there was coal. This way of living and noticing and building and crafting can crack through the movie sets and soundtracks that keep us waiting for our own life stories to begin, and set us free to observe the lives we have been creating all along without ever realizing it. I don’t want to wait anymore. I choose to believe that there is nothing more sacred or profound than this day. I choose to believe that there may be a thousand big moments embedded in this day, waiting to be discovered like tiny shards of gold. The big moments are the daily, tiny moments of courage and forgiveness and hope that we grab on to and extend to one another. That’s the drama of life, swirling all around us, and generally I don’t even see it, because I’m too busy waiting to become whatever it is I think I am about to become. The big moments are in every hour, every conversation, every meal, every meeting. Your life, right now, today, is exploding with energy and power and detail and dimension, better than the best movie you have ever seen. You and your family and your friends and your house and your dinner table and your garage have all the makings of a life of epic proportions, a story for the ages. Because they all are. Every life is. You have stories worth telling, memories worth remembering, dreams worth working toward, a body worth feeding, a soul worth tending, and beyond that, the God of the universe dwells within you, the true culmination of super and natural.
You are more than dust and bones.
You are spirit and power and image of God.
And you have been given Today.”
What is normal?! So often I think that we live by what we think others may view as “normal”. What does that even mean?! Haha. We live a life far from that and that’s okay. Sometimes daddy is home and sometimes he is gone working for the military, some days we sleep in until 9am and others we are up at 7am. We don’t have scheduled nap time and each new day brings just that, something new. We visit the desert, live in the hills, visit our friends in the mountains and take beach trips on a weekly basis. I think that we do our best to embrace this precious life with open arms and hearts alike.
I pray that giving healthy nutrients into our bodies and living deep with the goodness of the Word that we can fulfill all that God has for us. I pray for grace in the hard times and forgiveness on the days that I feel like I’ve failed as a mama. Each night when I go to sleep and kiss my girl next to me I just feel so grateful that I get to live this life. I never asked for it and I don’t deserve it, but I pray to give to everyone around me; my family, the unlovable, the strangers, my friends, to give until my guts hurts.
I’ve been walking a road of strength and battles and fighting through life. I’ve seen things that eyes should never witness and felt what few have.
But I am reminded, this life isn’t about “I”. My experiences of brokeness or pain do not define what is in my future with a God who knows no bounds to grace and mercy and peace.
So as I lay my head down each day and the sadness of life seems bottomless — I am brought to peace, brought to my knees and in this I rest; the promises of Christ are true. His love has proven deeper and His forgiveness evident in the way He transforms my heart to be. In that I can relish. In that I can live.
“Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.” Matthew 5:5