I wanted to write down the emotions that night; to remember how I felt. To remember how real it felt to miss someone so much that it literally ached the core of your soul.
I wanted to remember those nights apart because as the days drew closer to being together, the hard times seemed to distance themselves.
I had intentions of journaling the other nights; the ones with a sick little one with little hours of sleep, holding you in bed next to me. The nights of worry and fear and exhaustion all bottled up in one. I wanted to remember those too so that the good times would be that much sweeter. So that the sunny days could be soaked in that much more.
I meant to note how sick I was when I first found out of you growing inside of me, but I was too tired to function. I cursed the process all the while holding and praying for the longevity of your precious life I was given to nurture.
But I didn’t remember to journal and I’ve already forgotten the heartache of not sleeping next to you, my sweet love because you’ll be home soon.
I still hold you in the middle of the night although you’re healthy today, sweet girl.
I carry you still as your arrival to earth is near, lovely baby.
For you, I would wait twenty more years to be united with the kiss of your lips.
For you, I would cross mountains and swim seas if it meant embracing your little soul.
For you, I would treck waters just to hold you in my arms.
For you I will my Eric.
For you, I will my Sydney Love.
For you, I will my Dallas Rain.