Tangled Up

2014-05-10_0005

I’m wired to compartmentalize my life. I genuinely enjoy organization, label makers and all things color coordinated. My life is set into categories like so:

  • Jesus (the rare, but necessary occurrence of alone time, community of friends who meet weekly)
  • Children (times two)
  • Time with Husband (usually when said children are asleep, yes we need more date nights)
  • Time with Friends
  • Time with Friends without the aforementioned people
  • Work (preschool subbing, floral design, taking on website clients, dreaming long term end goals and big dreams and strategizing finances, business spaces, and organizational leadership and management)
  • Writing (trying to make time to put onto paper (er, internet) my thoughts and emotions that are often evoked in real time of living a transparent life)
  • School (two online classes, one on campus, homework, quizzes, utilizing said over-achiever skills / curse and compartmentalizing self strategies)
  • Adoption (paperwork, appointments, the waiting)
  • Home (projects, care, etc.)

Whoa, that’s a lot when I see it all on a list like that. Blah blah blah. I’m not the first woman on the face of the earth to strive in meeting goals and I won’t be the last. Life is busy and it is full and it is, well life. I know that there are sacrifices made and goals that take longer to meet and a family and community who need attention when it is not convenient. But isn’t THAT the true part of living life? To be tangled up in one anothers’ lives that we actually have the motive to do something about it? To pick up a friend at 10:00pm at night because her car stopped working or to drive across town to give someone a gas card? Life is occurring whether or not an assignment gets turned in late or a work project must be passed up. When someone cries and says they really miss their sister who has passed and I cry with them because I hurt with them too. I carry that pain, truly and deeply. I want to feel life and others’ pains and trials and joys. I’ve been on both ends. Of giving and being gifted of a life that is tangled up within someone else’s. The truth of what we live and what I believe to be true and right is living a life outside of my own in order to truly be fulfilled in being alive. A life that is entangled with anothers is the life I aim to live. I want to call on others and I want to be called upon. When it’s messy and inconvenient. I want to be tangled up. Together.

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